Track 4: Wahnsinn v.2 (Insanity)

The last weeks have been particularly busy. As initially intended for a Sunday, here's another post about Constant Change, another one in the series. Wahnsinn v.2 is part of an aftershock or back flash from civilian service. It is all but a piece of easy listening music. Inspired by some of the sounds from the ZynAddSubFX software synthesizer I quickly came up with an experiment: »See how bad you can make it!« This piece is not meant to please. It is meant to be disturbing and scary.

After ten months of collaborating with mentally diseased persons I thought that I had seen a lot. But that simply was not true. I met a friend I hadn't seen for a while on a local rock festival and he kept telling me that he learned lipreading. »See the people there in the distance? I can see what they're saying!« He had become schizophrenic. Another good friend by then just had gone the way of being manic-depressive. In the beginning I had to kick his ass every time we met just to get him going for a beer or something. In the end my voice didn't reach his brains any more. But he saw God speaking to him from a cloud. Schizophrenic, manic-depressive: for outsiders these are just psychiatric terms. If you're a friend it is nothing you can understand. I would say you can only understand those states of mind if you're affected yourself. And as an affiliated it gets the worst it can get because you can't let go. You can't close the door behind you. Wahnsinn v.2 immediately made a connection to all of this in my head.

This piece is about going insane in a serious way. Don't do it. Only 25% of all manic-depressive people do not relapse at a later point in their life. Most schizophrenic persons never again reach a state of mind the others call normal.

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